A Lovely Argument Between Two Grown Men

A Lovely Argument Between Two Grown Men

Hello darkness my old friend.

I’m up a 5:00 again.

It’s 9pm, I’m feeling alright

We’re gonna rock the world tonight

The remnants of another night well-spent

Xbox still on, and my blanket on the cement

Floor to the ceiling goes the music on high

The lives of the party,  their hands to the sky.

Throw on some clothes, head down in the sink

I’m ready for action, and right now I think

That I’m really getting tired-

Yeah me too.

Oi, who the bloody ‘ell are you?

I’d say the same, stop interrupting my story.

YOUR story? This is MY POEM you *explicatory*

If it were yours, why’d it start with me talking?

Obviously I’m the main focus, it’s not for debate..

I’ve had just as many bars as you, see?

But besides, I think I have the better story here, mate.

All you’ve done is talk about

Cleaning up from a night all alone “bub.”

That’s not true, I was online with friends.

And consoles are waaaaaaay better than PC, scrub.

WHO YOU CALLIN A SCRUB M8?

ILL BASH UR EAD’N YA CHEEKY NANDO!

I see you found the capslock key,

Mind your beer there, Brit, I think you might want

To sit down and cool off for a while.

Let’s just calm down, and you listen to me.

I’ll have a seat, but I’m keeping the drink.

So what were you going to say?

I was just going to go through an ordinary day,

With One-act practice,        Never heard of it.

School drama,          The lack thereof.

And time spent with close friends.           I doubt that you have any.

I was going completely opposite, mate.

I was going to describe the night of a lifetime!

With Alestorm playing live,

A girl on both arms,

And everyone I barely meet having a good time.

Having a good time?      HAVING A GOOD TIME!

I’m a shooting star leaping through the skyyyyyyyyy-

Hey, that’s pretty good.            I guess you’re alright mate.

Shame I don’t know who I’m talking too.

Or how I’m talking to you.

Or where I am.

What even is this?

I have no clue.

It seems to be some sort of “typed document”

Let me see if I can check the title…

It says “My Opposite.”

It seems quite true, we seem to be very different people

I mean, I’m the life of the party and you’re a total loser.

And I’m lowkey savage,

While you’re a jerk who screams at the guy on the opposite side of the paper.

Paper?I thought you said this was a, what do you say, web document?

Well, now it’s been printed out.

I’m not following.

I can see who got the brains of us two.

And I got the brawn, I’ll throw you down in the ground mate.

I’d like to see you try ol’ chap.

YOu WaNT TO GO PUNK?

YA BETTER MAKE SURE YOUR ADDRESS IS UP TO DATE,

CAUSE I’M GONNA KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF!

…

….

…..

Ello?

You still there mate?

…….

Look mate, I didn’t really mean it.

……..

Don’t leave me like this, I still don’t know what’s going on.

It’s so lonely in this blank space.

Then let’s make a deal.

We’ll both talk together.

In the middle of the paper.

We both tell our story.

There will be no fighting.

Alright?

Alright, just stay off my side of the paper.

Wouldn’t want this to get hard to read.

It’s a deal then.

I’ll start.

NO, I’ll start.

Go then...

Hello darkness my old friend-       It’s 9:00, I’m feeling alright-

STOP IT
SERIOUSLY

SO THAT’S HOW IT’S GOING TO BE, HUH?

Here we go again…

-The Narrator