PICKLES

 Pickles

are green

Crunchy, tangy, sweet.

Vinegar overpowers my tongue.

The taste stays.

Pickle rick.

YUCK!

(Notecard Journal)

- KZ100

How to be poem

 How to Be a Villain

Have a tough shell

Always have a crush on someone opposite of you.

No- Don’t do that.

Maybe?

No.

Let the hero win to boost their morale.

Always have quotable moments.

Stand defiant against all odds.

Make big threats follow through.

Always have a side project, like painting.

Blame small jobs on rivals.

Let the love interest catch your eye at the wrong times.

When you fail, blame the hero.

Never falter in your beliefs.

Get the love interest

Realize maybe some rules can be broken.

-Memento Mori

How to be "pretty"

 How to be “pretty”

Wake up early to do your makeup

Make it noticeable but not too much

Then you’ll be pretty

Do something with your gross hair

Maybe a hair mask? New conditioner? Satin pillowcase? Braids?

Then you’ll be pretty

Your face is infested with acne, wash your skin with expensive skincare that doesn't even work

Shave everything. Legs, back, stomach, and now my arms because a boy mentioned “I have a lot of arm hair”

Wax my eyebrows, lip, and nose because god forbid facial hair be socially acceptable

Then you’ll be pretty

Stand in the mirror for an hour trying on all my clothes trying to find a pair of jeans that doesn't squeeze my hips wrong but that's still flattering and socially acceptable 

Then you’ll be pretty

My pep talk in the mirror before I leave the house: Stand tall, don’t slouch, suck it in

Then you’ll be pretty

Don’t eat that you’ll gain weight, and if you can stay tiny

Then you’ll be pretty

When You get home google “how to get rid of stretch marks”

What about… “how to get rid of cellulite”. If you can get rid of those

Then you’ll be pretty

Go to the gym every free day you have because if you stay toned

Then you’ll be pretty

Have my third breakdown of the week because 

pretty is unattainable

-olive

How to Be My Sister

 Obtain a balanced schedule, almost like a cat… Stay awake for two hours, sleep for 2 hours, repeat!

Run away from all forms of sanitation… soap, hand sanitizer, etc.

“Wash” your face with only a wet washcloth… no soap.

Listen to Morgan Wallen on repeat.

Take a single bite out of a piece of food and put it back.

Drink straight out of the milk container.

Run away from Febeze at full speed because the smell isn’t refreshing to you.

Chase cats around the yard…even though they obviously don’t enjoy your presence.

Refuse to drink creamer in your coffee if it’s not frothed.

Drive 90 mph in a 30 mph as if the law doesn’t apply to you.

Crank your music as loud as the speakers will go without blowing them.

Wear hoops at all times… no ifs, ands, or buts.

 Squint cuz you can’t see because you refuse to wear your glasses. 

Get called Cryley by your family members.

Master the “Famous Eyeroll” that you inherited from your mom.

-Squid

The Perfect Guy

 Yep, that's me.  No not the one who’s pregnant, the one next to her.  No, not that one either.  I’m the girl with the dog.  My best friends are all happily married with families started but then there's me… with my dog.  His name is Stevie.  That’s the only boy I need in my life… will I’d like to be married but my friends keep setting me up on ridiculous dates.  There’s absolutely no hope for me with the crazy kinda dates I’ve been on.

The first guy didn’t seem too bad because he had a kind friendly kinda childish personality.  Well, when I said childish I really meant it.  Every time he responded to my messages it was always something called a “Me Me” and tons of Tik Toks.  I eventually learned to deal with it but then our first date was at an arcade.  I thought Oh maybe this could be fun… WRONG.  He paid more attention to the games and teaching me tips and old history than me.  There was no being Pacman and Mrs. Packman for us.  I almost went street fighter on this guy for being so annoying.  Game over for me.  As I was leaving I ran into a very polite guy I never got his name but he held the door open for me and looked like an off-brand version of Shawn Mendes so that's what me and my friends call him.  

The next guy was WAY classier.  He loved museums.  Especially art museums.  That’s where our first date was… and the last date.  He was so passionate about the stupid girl reading a book that he didn’t notice someone was hanging up a framed picture of a doctor shooting a burger… an odd choice but okay.  I looked closer and realized it was Walmart Shawn Mendes.  While professor boring was babbling on and on about the painting I went over and asked Dollar Tree Shawn why he was doing that and he simply responded cause it was funny and walked to the other side of the room so I followed.  We sat there laughing about how many people thought it was a true masterpiece and trying to decipher what it meant.  Then my date came back over and we left.  Still never got Dollar General Shawn’s name but oh well I’ll probably never see him again right?  

The latest guy was a construction worker.  He was super fun to talk to, loved the outdoors, and was pretty athletic.  This one was for sure a keeper.  That is until I realized I hate those things.  For our first date, he asked if I wanted to go on a hike with him and I said sure why not.  Well little did I know hiking should be considered an Olympic sport because I barely walked half a mile and my feet already hurt.  Somehow though, people were running these trails with near-perfect form not even breaking a sweat while I had to sit down every ten minutes going downhill.  I remember at one point he said watch this and jumped over a canyon leading to his demise with minimal effort.  Then I looked over and oh of course there’s my friend who has her entire super athletic perfect family taking a picture in the sunset.  Way to go Vanessa I bet you only took the picture silhouetted so no one saw how sweaty you look cause we both know you're not as athletic as you make it seem.

I told my date that I didn’t think this was going to work out since I never workout and to him, that's an issue so he left and I decided to sit in a field of beautiful yellow flowers.  Then oh look who happened to be there too.  It was Costco Shawn Mendes.  He came and sat by me and we talked and talked and talked.  I was almost fully convinced he was stalking me until he too said that he was going on some pretty bad dates to all of those places.  We fell and love and eventually got married and that my son is how I met your dad Shane Marandez.

-L

This I Believe

 I believe no one should be judged on who they are. In speech, I wrote an informative essay about LGBT+ bullying awareness. In this speech, I showcased how bullying could majorly affect an individual’s mental health, the bullying statistics of LGBT+ teens and children, and ways to help reduce bullying in your area. Bullying can majorly affect a person’s mental health, no matter who they are. Bullying can increase depression, self-harm, and can affect a student’s academic achievements. Being “out” or just being perceived as part of the LGBT community can put some youth at an increased risk of getting bullied. As someone who has experienced being bullied, even if you don’t realize it, bullying can affect your entire life. This worsened my social phobia, especially during high school. The sad part is most people don’t know how bullying really affected them until they become older. There are many, many strategies that anyone can use to help prevent bullying, especially in schools. 

Reporting bullying is the easiest way to make a change. If you see anyone who is getting bullied, encourage them to tell someone they can trust. If the bullying continues, report it yourself to a trusted adult or school staff member. Being alert to signs of distress in the hallways and classrooms is how you can stop LGBT and any other type of bullying. LGBT+ children, teens and even adults are being bullied (and in some worse cases, hate crimed and beaten) just for simply being themselves. Who deserves to go through that? No one. Some human beings are truly, truly awful. LGBT+ teens have an increased risk of getting bullied, which also increases the risk of depression. LGBT+ youth are 4 times as likely to attempt suicide and 2 and a half times more likely to self-harm. They are also more likely to experiment with alcohol and drugs because of the damaging effects of bullying. If we all work together, we can make a change. I believe that no one deserves to get bullied, no matter who they are. No one should be judged by being themselves.

-Allitini

The Yes/No Wasbi

 No

Well maybe

I said No

Why not, It fun

My mind is made up

Please don't the wasabi, Joe.

Wasabi is not to be eaten, Joe

Can't stop me! I'm gonna do it!

(Notecard Journals) 

-KZ100

I'm Going To Go Insane

 Karen

Manager

Both

I am a Karen

And I am a manager.

My name is spelled wrong on my cup.

That’s the spelling you gave us.

I’m going to go insane.

She doesn’t hear what I’m saying.

I hear her loud and clear.

I’m going to go insane.

I want my money back.

I’m not giving her money that she doesn’t deserve.

I’m going to go insane.

You just lost my business.

I didn’t want it in the first place.

I’m going to go insane.

I’ll sue you.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

I’m going to go insane.

I want to speak to your manager.

I am the manager. 

I’m going to go insane.

-Squid