I Believe In Contradictions

I believe in patience. In waiting for moments to come and opportunities to present themselves.
The hustle and bustle of life- of society- will not change the fact that slow and steady will win the race,
because life is not taken at a fast pace. I’ve seen friends zoom pass me in success or relationships
or knowledge while I lingered where I was, telling myself to wait for it.

I believe that life’s not a spectator sport. If watching is all you’re going to do, then you’re going to watch
your life go by without you. I believe in chasing every dream, every opportunity, every chance,
even if you don’t have a functioning plan. I believe that some opportunities repeat
while others only present themselves once, and I will not wait around to find out which is which.

I believe that time is a social construct, giving us due dates and deadlines.
Granting us paranoia and anxiety for not finishing on time.
Setting goals that only the few and far between can actually achieve.
Setting a status quo that is overused and out dated. I will take my time and look before I leap.

I believe that caution must be thrown to the wind, shattered and broken.
Patience may be a virtue but at what cost. What must I sacrifice for the ability to wait.
Wait for luck, love, half a chance. No thanks I’ve already got plans.

I believe that my life is not run by me, it’s run by a society that decides who I get to be.
If I don’t draw the line then when does it stop? When can I take the reins.
Left, right, stop, go, it’s up to me then, but when will that be?
Will I ever plant a garden I never get to see, what is my legacy?

I believe that I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m lost in an invisible maze and now I’ve jumped down
this rabbit hole and am lost in the haze. I’m what the kids call drop dead depressed and yes,
I will laugh through the pain. A wave of relief washes over me as a print out each refrain.
I believe in double meanings an I use them to keep me sane.

I believe in the security of a pause. Giving me ample time to calculate, analyze and over dramatise
my decisions. All’s fair in love and war, but I call a truce.
I need a break, a moment to myself, a moment to just breathe.

I believe that I want to more than survive. I believe that life I rushing past me at a pace
that I can’t keep up with. I believe that I don’t need water to feel like I’m drowning.
I believe that patience yields focus but I also believe that I still need to catch up.
I’m going too slow for my life and I’m being left behind,
and all I’ve managed to do was waste my life’s time.

So, do it. Decide.

Is this the life you want to live? Is this the best you can be?

Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate?

Decide

Breathe in

Breathe out

And decide.

~ Yours Truly