I Believe....

I believe that the most important time in a child and parent or even sibling relationship is when a child has to leave and be on their own.  I personally believe this because in my household not a day goes by that I can’t wait to leave for college.  That may sound terrible but as the oldest child I never really get a break.  Maybe I’m only saying that because I have believed my younger brother to be the favorite of the house since I was young or maybe I just need to get away to collect my thoughts.  I love my family but sometimes they can be a lot and I think we can all agree on that.

As the oldest, I feel I have the most pressure put on me because I have to be a role model to my brother.  I also get the luxury of being the first to graduate and be the first to experience anything really.  I don’t get to ask my older siblings what to do or what not to do.  This can cause me, personally, a lot of stress but it also causes my parents stress because they are unsure what exactly they need to do.  They try to help me out but sometimes it just causes more stress for them and me because I sometimes feel as though I have everything under control. When people in my house get stressed they tend to get angry so this causes fights between us. That’s exactly what happens between me and my mom but from talking to other people this is not an odd occurrence. 

Me and my mother are incredibly different but also exactly the same if that makes sense.  We believe two very different things but we also act the same so when we clash it could almost be considered World War III.  We both have a tendency to think we are right and there is no compromising but there is most of the time.  Now don’t mistake this as an excuse for me to talk badly about my mother because that's not what I’m trying to do.  I only feel that if I leave the house our relationship will become stronger because neither of us will constantly be trying to prove we are right all the time.  

I’m going to be honest quick, I used to be in therapy for a while and one of the techniques my counselor taught me was to walk away from the situation.  I feel leaving the house is almost exactly what this technique was.  When a person walks away from a negative situation for a little while and comes back to it later it can help the person(s) cool off and have a civil conversation with each other.  This can help resolve most problems so when a kid finally makes their way to college it is like walking away from the situation and they will soon realize how much they appreciate their family. This is why I am excited to finally go to college to be away from my family not in a bad way but as something to strengthen the bond between me and my family.

-L