Insomnia at it's Finest

   Are you going to sleep? 

                                                                             Yes, now be quiet.

 But did you lock the door?                    

                                                                              I’m pretty sure.

You should go check. 

                                                                           No. I need to get to sleep.

What if someone is in your house now?

                                                                          No one else is in my house.

 They could kill you at any moment, 

 all because you didn't lock the door.                Fine. I’ll go check. Just for you.

Sooooo?                                                            It was locked. Now let me sleep.

Are you sure it’s locked? 

                                                                          Yes. I’m going to sleep now.

I thought I heard the door open. 

                                                                          Good for you. I’m going to sleep.

There’s someone in the hallway, turn on the light.

                                                                                There’s no one there. 

It can’t hurt to check. 

                                                                        Would it really make you feel better if I check?

Yes.       

                                                                     Look there's no one there. Now I’m going to bed.

Okay, but have you drank water today? 

                                                                      I’ll drink some in the morning. 

You shouldn’t go to bed dehydrated.  

                                                                     Well, you shouldn’t be keeping me up!

I’m being serious.  

                                                                     So am I.  

The kitchen is just down the hall,

go get water.                                                Okay, fine but this is the last time I’m getting up. 

See, isn’t that better?

                                                                    No, because now I’m going to have to go to the       

                                                                bathroom later in the night and wait- what time even is it?

         It’s 2:49 AM. 

                                                                Great. I have to get up in 4 hours. Please let me sleep. 

Fine, but I have one more question. 

                                                               What is it? 

What if your entire life so far hasn’t been

real and you’re currently in a coma?                      What, why would I be in a coma?

Dunno. Maybe you feel out of bed and hit your head on the nightstand, so maybe you should move it away from your bed. 

 

                                                                             Yeah, maybe..

That was also good exercise, you should go

on a walk in the morning. 

                                                                             But I’ll be too tired. 

Then go make coffee. Is the coffee pot on?

                                                                            I’ll go check. 

What if there's a power outage tonight? 

                                                                         Why would there be a power outage? The          

                                                                          the weather is fine. 

Do you have enough money to buy a coffee just in case? 

                                                                         I’m sure I do.

Double check.

                                                                        Yes, I have enough money, now let me sleep.

But what if you get robbed.

                                                                         In my house?

Yes, because I’m pretty sure you didn’t 

lock the door. 

                                                                   I already checked two times tonight!

Check again. 

                                                                  Fine, yes it’s locked now-

Ooh! Look at the sunrise! 

                                                                  The sunrise? Are you kidding me?

It’s so pretty! 

                                                                 I didn’t get any sleep. 

That sounds like a “you” problem. 

                                                              We are literally the same person.

-Allitini