Lost in time

I wake up on a crisp December morning,
wishing to see the lights sparkling on the Christmas tree.
I imagine what it would be like to witness the blizzards that roll through town.
Or to see the fresh snow afterwards that twinkles in the sunlight.

It's now spring, which means bright flowers are blooming.
In my head I create a picture of what I think they would look like.
When I walk outside I feel my shoes dampen from a puddle,
I tilt my head down to look, but I can't see my reflection.

As I sit outside on the front porch I'm told to go inside because it will be dark soon.
The summer sun is setting.
But to me it's always dark, even on the hottest days when everyone stays inside.
In my mind I envision myself stargazing on top of a giant hill, in the back of a pickup.

I'm  alone, I don't know quiet where I am,
until I hear leaves crunching underneath my feet, and smell a trace of pumpkin.
My family is carving them at the park, which I cannot do on my own without help.
I accept that, but that doesn't mean I can't dream about what mine would look like.

Its December again, and another year has gone by.
Another year in which I get to choose what I see,
because it's all in my mind.

~R.N.