How to be Single

Eat whatever and don’t care.

Binge watch netflix.

Watch romance movies.

Cry because you don’t have that love.

Repeat mantra: “I am an independent woman that needs no man!”

Die on the inside.

Eat a pint of ice cream.

Adopt ten cats.

Third wheel it everywhere or just stay at home with your family: Cat Benetar, Secret Agent Randy Beans, Luke Skywhiskers, The Great Catsby, Kitty Kitty Bang Bang, Schrodinger, Puma Thurman, Paul McCatney, Rick Catsley, and Mittens. NEVER GONNA YOU GIVE UP RICK CATSLEY!

Plot revenge on couples. Wait for Valentine’s day. Run in restaurants, throw a cup of water on unsuspecting men, and shout, “I KNEW YOU’D BE HERE! YOU D-BAG!”

Buy a boyfriend pillow.

Let your cats sleep with you.

Suffocate on cat fur.

-AJ

How to be awesome

Meet some people who aren’t afraid to be themselves.

Always have fun with the people you meet, enjoy the radical activities with them.

Embrace how to enjoy the simple things in life.

Love the small things that you get from people, they end up being the best gifts like your grandpa’s stopwatch, or your grandma’s necklace.

Just don’t complain about anything, it makes everyone around you not care, or complaining can make the other person think differently of you, and not cool.

Laugh at the great moments, even cherish the bad moments which might sound a bit weird.

Weird is always good. Enjoy yourself

-AB

Ow-Oof-Ouch

Shoot

My leg

Through the femur

But gently I bleed

I fall down

Help me

*Dies*

-Gaston

How to be a trophy wife

Find a rich man

Manipulate him into falling in love with you

Have a very austentatious wedding

Enjoy a lavish honeymoon

Make your husband buy a bigger house.. Even though it’s just the two of you

Have your hair and nails done all the time

Only buy the most expensive brand of clothing

Most importantly, never get a job.

E.R

How to Be Me

Smile a lot.

Have a few good friends, not a large group.

Wear what you want to wear,

Not what society makes you.

Do your homework to the best of your ability.

Love music.

Dance pre-shower.

Dance in the shower.

Dance.

Sing to yourself all the time.

Make your bed in the morning.

Hate no one.

Dislike some.

Still appreciate their existence;

You never know what they’re going through.

Be kind.

Love nature.

Love dogs more.

Stress about nothing.

Stress about the little things.

Stress about everything.

When you go outside, breathe in the fresh air.

Question things.

Wear dinosaur shoes.

Get grossed out when you have to touch a doorknob.

Hate germs.

Mentally scream at people who don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom.

Put lotion on twice a day.

Read.

A lot.

Find enjoyment in old things, not new.

Avoid material things as much as possible.

Sleep a lot,

And most importantly,

Ignore all of these steps.

You are your own person.

You are smart, creative, and talented.

Don’t try to be someone you’re not,

Because you are you,

And that’s the best you can do.

-B

How to be a Convention Nerd

Go to conventions obvious right?

Know how to have a good time

Even with people, you don't know.

Know what cosplay is.

Critical thing since Cosplayers are everywhere

Know how to budget

No one once to be poor on the first day

You have to have enough money to eat

Make sure to get sleep

Make sure to eat 3 meals a day

It's easy to forget set a timer

Have hand sanitizer

You never know what people have touched

The last thing is the most important

HAVE FUN!!

~Justine

How to Be a Girl

Put on your favorite shoes

Go get your best outfit

Rule the world

And take no crap.

Throw on the fuzzy socks

Slip into the comfiest sweatpants

Toss yourself into the softest sweater

And go relax.

Make yourself better and better,

And surround yourself with confidence.

Go support the ones that need it,

But make sure you are happy.

~Ann Marie

Sleep!

Sleep! You hard to reach beast!

It seems like you are always leaving me :(

But sleep I can't live without you. 

That bed I see is the greatest thing.

If I leave, I will lose all your trust. 

The touch of my cool pillow as my head hit -- ahhh! Nothing like it.

Then you take over my mind, sending me to far away places.

Extra Blurb: Sleepy sleep sleep sleep. Love me some daffodiles. 

-AJ

Missing you (notecard poem)

You're melting from my mind
Disappearing into a cloud of dust
reaching out to only find
we were destined to bust.
I will find you
In my dream, sweet serendipity
For you are my one true love,
Please show me pity.

E.R

The Birds and the Bees

"Tweet you twat!" Went a man to his bird

That flew at a speed of only a third

Tried to fly but it hurt

So he sat in a tree

Poor little bird, he was only three

Broke his wing? How could it be?

So he built up his strength and flew away with the bees

-Gaston

What Can She Do?

She dances with the passion of DeBussey

Her words strike fast with the hate of Tchaikovsky

She is unhappy

The world is full of hate

What can she do?

Nothing.

She is only a dancer.

A musician.

A dreamer.

Not a politician.

She can't change the world to fit the needs of all.

Her heart yearns to help,

But she can do nothing.

She is only a girl

Who means nothing to the world.

-B

The Burn - An Excerpt

“Juliette,” the teacher said sternly, “come to the board and tell us why A Brave New World was such a remarkable work.”

Not again. While it is nice being one of the best students in the class, getting called on all the time is annoying. However, as always, I go to the front of the room and slap some mishmash together.

“This book was remarkable for many reasons. Mainly, it gave great insight into what the government today is doing. It is even more remarkable that this book was written over fifty years ago - which makes Huxley’s entire book a brilliant prediction of the future.”

“That is absolutely correct. Does anyone have anything to add?” Ms. Nys chimed.

“Was it really that remarkable? All they did was make babies.” Piped John, the comedian of the class.

“John,” sighed Ms. Nys, “If you read more than Sparknotes and really tried to understand the book you would know why you have a minimal chance of being remembered as Huxley has.”

“Ooh! Burn!”

“Fam! You just got burned by an old lady!” The class roared.

“Okay, okay, class that is enough,” she smirked. Ms. Nys pulled the class back into the discussion. Luckily, I didn’t have to pull out more brilliance that day.

~ Ann Marie